Nae chinhan chinguya

School 2013 

To The Beautiful You, John Kim ep 9

Its 3.3am and I'm on my laptop. Yes my laptop. For school. And since school have yet to commence, I am currently watching kdramas. And recently just finished School 2013, boring plot but ending was okay. Now I'm watching To The Beautiful You. I heard there would be many cute guys in the drama but wasn't prepared when Julien Kang appeared and now at ep 9, Kim Woo Bin appeared and laughed out loud when he was making those cute things on the window wtf. So cute. Talking about him, he is appearing on running man in australia and I'm waiting because he would be soooOOoo CUTE. And furthermore, pictures of him on instagram being a cowboy was so sexy and videos of him JUST walking was so flawless. He frickin look like he was walking on a runaway. Just so sexy.....

Anyway, school is commencing on 21 April and I'm not prepared but I've send my enrollment forms so no backing out or whatsoever. Been going to and fro RP to settle some stuffs and I've yet to configure this freaking laptop. Bleagh. And today I went to RP to send in the forms and I frickin saw my cousin while I was on the way there. To think about it now, RP is indeed small and the chances of bumping into him is so great and I'm not prepared. I mean not that he would like be so friendly or what. Honestly we stopped talking eversince we grew up. Still remember we used to play a lot and messed up my grandmother's room when we were little. We were kinda close though but I don't know when we stopped doing those things. Still remember he bought for me a piece of big coin chocolate that was so in last time, but I was late and the chocolate melted. But he gave me anyway. It's sad that all of us grew up and distanced away. Sometimes I wish we would just talk normally even if it means not being closed as last time. We are not even talking, thats the problem. It's been years since we last talk and have a conversation. Now all we do is just smile at each other and just say some things and walked off. He is my age and that there is no one else that's the same age as me other than him in my maternal side so it's really sad.

Anyway, poly life would be boring and scary I guess. Why I say so? Because all my close friends are not in my poly. In my clique where there is aishi, renuga, joey and sabrina, none of them are with me. Only me and Aishi are going to a polytechnic and that makes me sad because I really really want all of us to go to the same poly and remain as friends. I'm really scared we would drift apart. I have so little friends that sometimes even when I wanna go out and feel lonely and decided to bring someone, I would think on who would be free enough. I mean the only person I'm really close with is sabrina but she's not going anywhere this year. She's just working. I really wished we could work hard during O level days and just enter the same poly. Well I still remember us discussing about our plans when we enter poly like one of us calling each other if we're lonely in the poly and asked to meet for lunch and so on. I really wish she would be in RP though. But too bad, guess I have to just endure this 3 years by myself. It wouldn't be the same anymore. No more. It's hard. I'm really scared. We could've worked hard sab and enter the same poly eventhough we might be in different courses. We could... But I don't know maybe this path isn't for you and that there might be other paths for you. You don't know man, like what the saying says "When one door closes, another door would open". I'm praying you'll find something one day. But you'll be my bestfriend for life you know that, when I get married one day, you'll be there. Eventhough we may fight often over some trivial stuffs, know that its just because I was either hurt or disappointed over some things you decided to do. And when I said sorry, just know that I don't intend on losing you and thus. Because if I lose you, I wouldn't know what to do. And where do I go after that and who I would just say my stupid nonsensical stuffs to. And most importantly, I wouldn't know how I would ever find someone who would understand me just like you do. So cheesy but I need to treasure this friendship that I've built and kept for 6 years. It may be different for me or us in a few years time when we will find our lives or even boyfriends, and soon we will not be as closed as before.

That's why I'm treasuring this friendship as much as I could before it's time and everything's gone.

 2009 - ___(?)

Goodnight