words are like daggers

I dont know anymore, is it so wrong to be fat? Is it a taboo in this society? Am i that ugly? Am i that fat. Well thanks to you, yeah you, you make me feel fucking ugly and fucking fat as though i can never love anyone. Bloody fuck.
What went through your pea brain when you said that? Oh you think i can just laughed it off easily? Hah, you're damn lucky i didnt fucking insulted you back, you're lucky i shrugged it off in which it affected me after that.
Didn't thought that i'll lose it, but i fucking cried in the fucking school hall after you say it. I swore to never cry in school, but i've been getting insults almost everyday and that is depressing, you dont know how much i try to not care about this criticism on me, but A GIRL LIKE ME JUST CAN'T. I just can't control the surge of blood and shivers that ran through my back indicating that my tears will form after you said that. SERIOUSLY WHAT IN THE WORLD.
I dont mind you insulting me, but please, dont ever do it infront of me. Thats just rude. I dont give a shit if you insulted me behind my back, at least I have no clue and won't care. But this, THIS, i was right infront of you and yeah you decided to just blurt out those words, without thinking. Pea brain, big mouth.

Thanks to you too, I'll forever feel ugly and fat after this for the rest of my life maybe. Because reality just hit me hard. I dont know why. Its like everytime i'm with you, you will NEVER fail to not insult me at least once. There'll always be something about my appearance, yeah my fatness that will be your joke topic. Fuck you, it isnt funny.

How i wish to just starve to death and make you people realize this kind of thing isn't funny. I dont know what to feel anymore. Should i cry or just i dont know what? I feel numb but at the same time, tears can't stop dripping from my eyes when i think about the words you said to me in the hall. ITS LIKE A NIAGARA WATERFALLS. Was playing my mum's iPhone when i decided to tweet about what happen cause it is disturbing and thus i wanted to tweet how it affected me, but everytime i think about it, lol wateryyyyyyyyyy and somemore it was infront of my mother. God.

I really wish to tell my mom how i'm always being insulted or criticized in school. But she will laugh it off i guess. I want to tell her so much how Faris Sufian will always be making a joke on my fatness and how my skinny friends are complaining that they are fat and how people around me are bloody skinny. IM SENSITIVE MIND YOU. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, EMOTIONS AND A HEART. YES I AM ROUGH IN SCHOOL AND ANNOYING AND MANY THINGS, YES I SMILE ALOT LAUGH ALOT IN FACT I RARELY GET ANGRY LIKE TOTALLY ANGRY AT PEOPLE NOR WOULD I SCOLD PEOPLE, but when you make fun of me in front of a group of people on the table, thanks, you've just succeeded in lowering my self esteem by 10000000x. And no, i'm not gonna suddenly burst out in tears in fact I'll smile and laugh it off together with you guys, but lol deep inside i feel like dying sia.

this is depressing, its been happening way too often. i dont think i can take it anymore.
please, have a heart and insult behind my back.

i hate to see my twitter filled with fucking self esteem stuffs but ive no choice since ive no nowhere to go? i hate to see my own tears drop la, i hate lying on my bed and then suddenly think about it and there goes my Niagara waterfalls. _|_

fuck my life, why am i ugly and fat. i hate myself, i really do. thanks to today. yeay, are you happy now?