feeling worthless,nothing-EMPTY

from now on, address me as minahrep. and yes I've no feelings.

I wish to die soon so I won't have to like always be at blame for everything, everything is my fault, nothing is not my fault. I hope he goes to jail, and for calling me minahrep, thanks at least I'm clever than you not stupid like you. I'm way better than you. And for saying me no feelings mum, thanks also, cuz all this time I try not to be lazy, I try to always carry everything all the groceries, I try to always minimized the chores u have to do, but I guess no one can see that. All they see is just ME, no feelings.

All they see in me is rudeness, worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, minahrep. Yala I am no one right? Why am I even born when I can't feel any love, yes they say love doesn't show but this I really can't even sense any. I'm worthless. From now on, I shall have no feelings, I shall just make myself a ghost in this house and just treat like no one can see me and I do my stuff. I won't tell anybody about anything I do cuz they won't care. My family dont understand me, they dont understand this only girl in their life. So maybe that's why. All they care is Nini, who is Nini to me? Yes a cousin, my blood. But does that makes me have to love her like how I love my bro khairi? No, cuz she got her family. WHILE ME? I'm just here, my mom dont care about me. Yes that's a trufact. I feel worthless now. I hate syafiq, I can never respect him, he hated me when I was a baby right? He injured me when I was young.

Well for now, I just wish for me to die soon, get bang by a car, someone stab me, die naturally or maybe just disaapear. I wanna runaway, I've always been, but where do I stay then?

I dont wanna live anymore if I'm always to be blamed, till when should I always be blame? Maybe till the day I close my eyes. Maybe when I die, I maybe the cause of someones death too. Maybe.


No one knows except for Allah.
i hate my life, no one understands me, its me who always have to take care of theirs, what about mine? Lets see,everytime I'm in pain as in leg sprain or anything, when I tell them, all they say is "MACAM MACAM". If syafiq or bro in pain, they send to nearest sensei for treatment. Isn't that being biased?am I invisible? A robot? I am no one right? Yes nabe bcuz I'm the only girl in this household that's why I'm always blame.

Nah cool about it, but well I wanna die. goodbye

A