Its been 3 years and still bittersweet.
What could have been and what could have not. The night will leave me with thoughts over thoughts with what could have ran through your mind with what you did.
Almost.
We could almost be more than friends. Almost. but we did not. Your selfish way and my ego kind of stood the way.
Part of me still wishes that in 5 years down the road, we would bump into each other in the bus, train, cafe or anywhere if that matters. Anywhere. And we would start talking again and being friends for real this time, exchange our numbers and actually finished what was left behind. I had a great feeling about you. I really felt that you were my soulmate, I mean I was young back then. 16 to be exact. But everything about you seems so perfect to me. 3 years on and I still feel like there would be no one like you.
Everytime I flipped over to read my diary, I'm always reminded of how soft your gaze is. Those kind eyes. And when you smile, your perfect set of straight teeth kind of illuminate your entire existence. I still remember that one incident in the corridor of our school, I was chatting with someone and you were opposite me. I glanced over you and your smile was everything I saw at that moment and at that time.
It kills me that I will never find someone like you. My hearts hurts with great agony everytime I think about our last moments together. You're a gem and I wish to be the one to tell you that. I wish I was in the place to be able to comfort you in times of your difficulty.
I can't forget everything because you were the only person/guy to acknowledge my existence from the very first day. Maybe because its you thing, your friendly nature. But being the awkward ugly person I am, I felt that move made by you was heartwarming.
Here's me secretly hoping and praying that you and I are made for each other though I doubt that you even recognized me anymore. I'm at the brink of losing hope in finding anyone. But I'm clinging on to you to find me.
We could be everything but we did not.
I'm truly heartbroken for 3 years straight.
No one will feel me because I am just a delusional being.
But I yearn for love within your warmth.
